Stop Networking the Wrong Way — Here’s What Works
Hey, it’s your boy Mark Evans DM, and today I want to talk about something that’s not only important in business but in life—building real connections. I’m not talking about those surface-level relationships where you just swap business cards and call it a day. I’m talking about authentic, meaningful connections that actually help you grow and succeed. 💥
Here’s the thing: most people get it wrong. They’re all about “What can I get out of this person?” instead of focusing on the bigger picture. If you’re just trying to get ahead without giving anything in return, you’re playing the game wrong. So let’s dive into what it takes to build relationships that matter, grow your network, and set yourself up for long-term success.
Why Most People Fail at Building Connections
Most people approach networking like it’s a transaction. You meet someone, you chat for a bit, and then you wonder how they can help you. That’s the problem right there. It’s all take, no give. The truth is, the best relationships are built on giving first, not taking.
Think about it. If you only show up when you need something, how long is that connection going to last? Not long. People remember when you’re only in it for yourself. But if you’re the person who’s always there to offer support, add value, and help others out, that’s the connection people want to keep.
The Power of Showing Up and Giving First
Let me tell you a story. Years ago, when I was just starting out, I was focused on getting deals, making money, and growing my business (like everyone else, right?). But I quickly realized that the people who were really succeeding weren’t the ones hustling just for themselves. They were the ones who were giving back to their network, providing value, and helping others grow. And guess what? That’s when I shifted my mindset, and everything changed.
I started showing up to give first—offering advice, making introductions, helping people solve problems without expecting anything in return. And that’s when I started seeing real growth. The more you give, the more you get, but you have to do it authentically.
So here’s the lesson: Focus on giving. If you make it your mission to help others succeed, you’ll find that people are more than willing to return the favor when you need it.
How to Build Real, Long-Term Connections
Here’s what I’ve learned after years in the game:
Be Genuine: Don’t fake it. People can tell when you’re only interested in what they can do for you. Be real, and show genuine interest in their success.
Add Value Before You Ask for Anything: Instead of asking what someone can do for you, ask how you can help them. Can you make an introduction? Offer advice? Help them with a problem? Find ways to give before you take.
Stay Consistent: Building relationships takes time. You can’t just pop in and out of people’s lives when it’s convenient. Stay in touch, check in, and be consistent in offering support.
Play the Long Game: Relationships aren’t about quick wins. The real magic happens over time. Invest in people, help them grow, and build long-term relationships that will pay off down the line.
Connections That Grow With You
Here’s a big tip: Don’t just chase the big names. Everyone’s trying to network with the “top players” in the game, but the truth is, the most valuable connections are the ones that grow with you. Look for people who are on the rise, the ones grinding and working hard to build something great. These are the people you want in your corner.
Think of it like this: If you help someone now, while they’re on their way up, they’ll remember that down the road when they’re crushing it. Relationships built on mutual growth are the ones that last.
Make It Personal, Not Just Professional
Another thing that gets overlooked in networking is the personal side. Yes, business connections are important, but people want to work with people they like and trust. So don’t be afraid to show your personality, share your story, and connect on a human level.
When people feel like they really know you, they’re more likely to want to work with you, refer you, and help you out when you need it. Business is personal—don’t forget that.
Wrapping It Up: The Key to Real Connections
So, here’s the deal: If you want to build real, long-lasting connections that actually help you grow, stop focusing on what you can get and start focusing on what you can give. Be genuine, add value, and play the long game. It’s not about quick wins; it’s about building relationships that stand the test of time.
Remember, the people you help today will be the ones supporting you tomorrow. So get out there, connect with intention, and start building relationships that matter.
- Mark Evans DM